We don’t mean to talk down to you, darling. It’s just that many of the cutest people are afraid to ask the most obvious questions, and that’s why we’re here to help.
Step 1. Use the bathroom. Many of us like to believe that only rainbows and glitter come out of our butts, but that’s just not so.
Step 2. Find the bidet. The bidet itself is attached to the toilet, and controls will be handy on one side of your ceramic throne. (We only add this step for those who may be a little hungover and need gentle guidance. No judgment. )
Step 3. Activate the bidet. Our products are very user friendly, and with only a quick push of a button, a nozzle will appear underneath you and rinse your money maker clean. When you’re fresh, just press stop. The nozzle will rinse itself off and discreetly tuck itself away.
Step 4. Dry off. The bidet very likely includes a drying function, but you can also choose to dry off with a few squares of toilet paper.
Step 5. There is no step 5! That’s it, baby. Just sashay away like the clean queen you are!